Have you ever wondered what the difference is between people you admire for how driven, persistent, and probably successful they are, and the ones who always talk about what they will do but never do it? I have my take on that, and the only difference between the two is not talent, luck, or money, but not relying on motivation to do things they want. And why do I believe that? Because I don't want to live a life in which I'm not the one making a decision and acting upon that. On the contrary, I actually don't have to wait for this outer source of power named motivation. I am not an expert in psychology or neurobiology, nor was I a millionaire at the age of 26 or sth. These thoughts came to me with time and a little bit of digging into some productivity and well-being content. Also, there was an epiphany that I am wired differently, and maybe I'm not lazy and unambitious, just need strategies to come to my full potential. That's why I took a chance and learned programming, leaving my previous career with no doubt I could succeed, I secured the coolest job I could've ever imagined, and today I ran a 5k Halloween run with my new Personal Best, and was able to work with my dog so he's not a self-absorbed warrior, but really nice, hugging mascot, and now I'm back with this blog, and creating a game that I always wanted to play. Here are my strategies to remove motivation from the equation.
What about planning?
Having a calendar with a list of things to be done and an estimated time to deliver is a lifesaver.I have a plan for the whole week written down on Sunday. But there is a special tweak to it. I write down even my commute time, and what I will be doing on the train, even if it's just scrolling or looking for some blog content or bouncing ideas back and forth with chat GPT. I also write down my training goals like on this Monday I will run 5k, on Wednesday 6k, on Thursday I will do HIIT that would burn 500kcal in about 40 minutes, and I write down the exact video that I will be using for that. There is also a place for planning meals, as I am cooking them on Sunday, so I know what exactly we will be eating and what my grocery list will look like on Saturday. Does it mean there are no surprises in my life? There are many, but they are somewhat planned, I know I will be eating my work lunch with the rest of the team exactly on Tuesday, but I don't know what it will be. There is also this extreme satisfaction when you can cross out the thing that is done. And the more meticulous your plan is, the more frequent this dopamine shot is served. All the small things matter.
10min rule
OK, you have your calendar and the plan, but instead of doing the thing, you grab the phone and brainlessly scroll the content. Or, instead of waking up at 5a.m. to go for a run, you press one button and sleep till it's too late. That also happened to me, believe me, I'm the queen of procrastination. What is the solution? Just say to yourself: I will be doing that for ten minutes, so I know there was an honest attempt to do this. If I still have no willpower to continue, I can reschedule the thing. Guess what- most probably you will finish it because the first step is always the hardest. Your brain is always calculating if the effort is worth it. And with long-distance goals like: I want to learn now, so I have a good job and play games or watch movies when I retire, your brain is like "Well, we can watch movies and play games right now, why bother?" We want to break this circle by just starting out to see if the effort is really as hard as we thought.
Mini missions and pomodoro clock
We know that with long-distance goals, it's really hard to grasp if it will pay out. The second trick to actually start and have some sense of purpose is just splitting your big goal into some smaller, and more achievable steps. Let's take my running. Three months ago I hated running with every piece of my soul. I got shin splits after 2 minutes, got out of breath after 5, hated this bouncing movement in 1. But with a busy schedule that I have, approaching winter which means it's dark and rainy or snowy most of the day, and with a little problem with indoor cycling called: there is no wind to cool you down, running seemed like the only solution. And there is a bonus: I always wanted to run half marathon. I would never run even twice if it weren't for the fact that I planned a week to sort out the plan from couch to 5k. The time to buy shoes and gear. The time to actually start walking and running for a few minutes. The time to figure out where is this pain coming from, and what can I do to make it go away. These goals are more approachable, and they don't seem overwhelming. The second thing is using Pomodoro for things like learning or cleaning. If you have to study for an exam, and you know you will be doing that for the whole day, it's terrifying. But, if you know that you will be studying e.g. variables for 25 minutes, and after that, you will take a 5 min break, and again 25 minutes of using the variables forwarded by 5 min break, and after that, you have again only 25 minutes to test if you remember all the things you learned, and after that, there is 15 min break for a snack or a quick walk- that makes all the difference.
Make someone else also accountable for your progress
The thing is, you already know, that motivation is not propelling you forward. But it's easier, when someone you care about, does. If you pass the exam that you are studying for, you and your partner will go on vacation, if you don't- well, you'll both have to wait for the trip for another few months. That's setting mutual goals, which acts a little bit like body doubling in a way. Your family won't distract you if there is a gain for them in this game too.
Get yourself a prize
It doesn't matter if the task was so small that even crossing it out of your list is satisfying, or as big as getting a job after 2 years of learning. Get yourself something that will make your life easier, more beautiful, or just the thing you always wanted. Spending the time on choosing the prize while making those huge changes, will give your mind some time off. Trust me, it's better to look for the best deal on headphones that will help you survive in the office and thrive in a new role, than to watch another TikTok video on kids crawling on the shop floor.
Crash the barriers before they come crashing on you
This one is pretty simple. The more you have to prepare to do the thing, the less is the chance that you actually will do the thing. Not clear enough? Let's say you want to lose weight. You know that the only way to lose weight is to create a caloric deficit, by eating "less" (it's usually not less but this post is not about that), and burning calories with some exercises or walks. So you prepare a plan that you will be doing Nordic walking in the morning for half an hour before breakfast. Cool plan. What usually happens in the morning is that you can't find the shoes, the poles, the jacket. Time flies, your half an hour has come to an end and you are still in slippers. If you'd had prepared all the gear yesterday- you would have crashed the barrier and made the training as planned. As simple as that.
Be kind to yourself
In all of that we tend to think all or nothing. One small misstep and our brain is preparing a scenario where we are losers, won't achieve anything, and there is no point in trying. That's not true. If I have a soar ankle, I won't run today, but it doesn't mean that my goal is unachievable. If I am under the weather, I probably won't spend another 2 hours creating new features in my game, but that is not something I can control. And even if it's just an I-don't-want-to-day, it is not diminishing my progress. It's a marathon, you don't have to keep the pace from start to finish in order to get the medal at the end. You will get it anyway if you just show up, and run towards the finish line. If you need to catch a breath- it's completely fine.
Why do people still talk about motivation?
Summarizing all of this I keep wondering, why do people believe in motivation. I think it's a perfect excuse. Everything is out of our control because of that superpower. I really don't feel motivated to get up at 5 a.m., but I'm doing it anyway because I want to be able to run away from a zombie apocalypse. I would gladly watch a movie every night instead of learning a new programming framework, but in a long run, I would be much prouder of myself when I publish my game. Motivation is nothing if you just keep showing up as planned. Hope my thoughts on the matter help a little bit and good luck on your journey!